Throughout this class, I have had many questions on the topic of sex and gender. I ask myself what the difference is between sex and gender, what is the correct term for this group and that. I even ask myself why these seemingly obvious answers are so hard to implement in this society. How is it that when examining the issues that play out in today’s world, we can find solutions but reject them primarily on the fact that our society would not allow such a change to occur? The most confusing part of this world is that brilliant ideas are often left alone because people want to ultimately feel accepted and looked up to. No one seems to willingly volunteer to be the first to go against the grain. However, it is those who go against the grain that are granted respect among the people of this Earth. The question is, why more people don’t start doing what they believe to be right and go against the grain. Look at Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, and Rosa Parks. They were pioneers of their active movements in their own way. They had a vision and a dream and they let no one or nothing stop them from it. Why don’t all the queer men and women march and why doesn’t the world listen? Have we no respect for our fellow men and women? It is people like the ones mentioned, and Dorothy Allison that make things happen. It are these people that go from dreamers to do-ers. One of the best lines in Allison’s memoir was “two or three things I know for sure, and one is that I would rather go naked than wear that coat the world has made for me” (Allison, 71). This showed that no matter what people tried to make of her or change in her, she was not going to lay down and be what they wanted her to be.
Another question that I have in my mind from this class has to do with a scientific standpoint of the subject. Where does this decision of transgender-ness and sexual preference come from? Are we born being gay or lesbian, and it just takes some time to figure it all out? Or is this something that society brings us into, where men and women who have a different lifestyle may be more prone to being gay or lesbian? I know that the common view is that it is something you are born with, since there is no way to refute that if you are straight and you are able to turn gay, why aren’t gay people coming back to being straight. This question about the “root” of sexual preference seems hazy to me because it almost breaks into a dispute between religion and science. I am a firm believer of pre-destination, but I would not entirely say that predestination can be determined by a characteristic in your genes. I believe that we are already meant to walk a certain path, but we do not know this path because it is outside our mental capacity. Dorothy Allison again had a memorable quote when she spoke of her mother. She said, “She (her mother) was an actress in the theatre of true life” (Allison, 26). So are we all just actors in this world? Clothed and taught how to act by society and those around us, that is until we decide to stop acting and discover your genuine character. Think about it.
I agree with so much of what you say here Joe. There is so much good that could come from people standing up and voicing their support. Like you said, people want to be accepted and sometimes to show support for a non-normative idea or lifestyle is just to “risky” for some. I have found that NOT speaking out for something you believe in is the same as perpetuating the prejudice. The easy path is seldom the right path and the pioneers of equal rights that you named certainly never took the easy path. Imagine how much easier it would have been for Rosa Parks to just give up her seat. One small, almost insignificant act started an entire revolution aimed at equal rights. I have to wonder why society is so narrow minded, though, that when we say “equal rights” it is always assumed to be about race. Life isn’t just about the black and white but very few people are willing to PUBLICLY walk in the gray area. I understand what you’re saying about “brilliant thoughts being left alone”. I have heard many “brilliant thoughts” at work, in classrooms, on the blogs. Unfortunately, we’re all so careful not to speak too loudly and only discuss these ideals in what we’re told are the appropriate settings. It seems like we all need to get over our need to BE accepted and start effecting acceptance in all we do.
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